Waiting

I find myself so often putting off making change in any area of my life because I am intent on getting things “under control”.  I can remember a span of about a year and a half that started with the unexpected and sudden death of my father, which led to my subsequent decision to step away from the graduate program I was meant to start a week later and open a handcraft gallery instead. A few months later I was married and several months after that I lost my my uncle, who on my wedding day just a few months earlier had said to me, “Now that your father is gone I want you to think of me like your father. I want to be here for you.” During this time I can clearly remember feeling disbelief and even rage at the world around me. Why couldn’t everyone just hold still for a few freakin minutes so I could catch my breath?

As many of you who have read my blog for the last year and a half are aware there have changes underfoot with my job. In typical fashion I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for confirmation in regards to what that job is going to become before making plans with the work I truly want to be doing. Tomorrow morning I go in again for yet another meeting. It seems this just has to be the meeting when I find out for sure if I have a job, will I be working part time or full time, and will it be something I even want to do. No matter the answers I get tomorrow, I know this job is not where I truly want to be. It is not the work I feel calling out to me. It is not the work I wake up excited to learn about and practice. It is not the work that makes me feel that I am using all the gifts I have been given. That work has been sitting on the shelf, waiting in limbo to find out, “When will it be the right time to begin?”

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As I have prepared myself mentally for all of the presumed possibilities of what may come tomorrow, a small voice has begun to creep closer and closer. I realize it is asking me a question, “Why do you keep waiting?”

I was reading a book by Rich German recently in which he suggests imagining all of the things you are juggling in your life as rubber balls. Out of all those pick 3 to 5 that are the most important to you. He suggests you imagine these as being your crystal balls. The rubber ones you can take your eye off of from time to time if you have to. You may not want to drop them, but they will bounce back if you do.  You must always keep your crystal balls in focus because they will be damaged or destroyed if you allow them to drop. These are the things in your life that are too precious to allow them to be damaged. This last year and a half of waiting has got me wondering if I have chosen wisely my crystal balls.

I am very proud and happy to say that I have taken some steps to move forward in creating my career. I am moving the Life and Friendship classes to the Self Center in Winchester, MA. This location gives me many advantages and feels like a big step forward. I will also be partnering with Wendy Carlson in teaching some upcoming classes. She is starting a similar healing and teaching business and it feels great to have some company. I have added a bunch of Upcoming Events and I am so looking forward to meeting a lot of new people. If you do not live in the Boston area but are interested in learning more please sign up for my monthly newsletter or call/email me to schedule a Free 20 Minute Session. You will get a feel for the work we can do together and if it feels like a good fit for you. 781~367~5751 or heather@lifeandfriendship.com

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About lifeandfriendship

I am woman hear me ROAR! I am actively engaged in shaping my life to my dreams. Watch out 'cause I'll try my best to drag you along for the ride. View all posts by lifeandfriendship

6 responses to “Waiting

  • Victoria

    HI Tabatha, I hope the interview helped you make the decisions you need to make. I do believe the Universe is pushing us to live the life we were meant to live and share the gifts that are uniquely ours. My kind regards, Victoria

  • Tabitha

    🙂 I have my “job” and it’s not work that I enjoy. it is work that (barely) pays my bills. It is at the point now where I sit for hours and do nothing. to be sure, the novelty of that has worn off. Then I have my “work”, the work I am devoted to, that I focus on, that gives me purpose and from which I feel joy. The job is draining my energy for my work, and yet I am too terrified to make a change. Like you, I have been waiting and waiting, for a sign, for something to indicate that a shift needs to happen. And I do this all the time. The last time I was in a job, I knew I needed to leave but couldn’t bring myself to make the break. They had to lay me off; that was the only way I escaped.

    I’m not sure why I think I need a dramatic sign. Is not sitting wasting time and energy on work I detest sign enough that some shift needs to happen? I suspect this will be a moment when I need to step in and make the shift.

    All of this to say thank you for sharing your experience. it helps me feel not so alone in the waiting game.

    • lifeandfriendship

      Tabitha,
      I SO wish you and I lived closer. It would be awesome to have you at our classes. It is so wonderful to have a supportive group to encourage and support your process. I hope you have the same in some fashion.
      It is great to know you are out there. Please get in touch any time you need a little power up to keep you moving towards your dream!
      I love knowing you are out there.
      Heather

      • Tabitha

        Hi Heather,

        I’m out here. 🙂 Nice to know there are others out there. I’m very fortunate in that I have a supportive group. gorgeous souls who prop each other up.

        Many blessings and thanks to all of those who prop one another up.

        Cheers,

        Tabitha

      • lifeandfriendship

        I am glad to hear that. I figured that was the case. You are too much of a natural connector to be without a posse. I was also thinking last night how awesome it would be if I could get to your yoga classes. Heaven!

      • Tabitha

        Heather,

        I’ve just come in from dragging piles and PILES of snow into the middle of my lawn in the hopes that when the thaw comes we won’t flood. I feel miserable right now. Reading what you wrote, however, put a much needed smile on my face. thank you. Maybe one day I’ll get to a session with you, and you to one of mine. 😉 let’s keep that in the ether, shall we?

        Blessings,

        Tabitha

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