Monthly Archives: September 2012

Getting Clear

I have been listening to podcast lectures from Gabrielle Bernstein a lot lately. I love her upbeat energy, loving acceptance of whatever shows up in the way of questions, and the combination of mystical woo woo teachings with real life living.  I actually have a book of hers kicking around, but I have to admit I didn’t make in much past the introduction. She wrote about how she began to change her way of thinking by getting back on a unicycle… I very close mindedly shut the book and put it back in the pile.

I will fish it out one of these days because she is awesome and I’m sure her book is too. One quote of hers that I love is, “The clearer you are, the closer you are. You will have what you want when you get clear.” What I have been finding so often lately when something like that sticks out to me, is that I can find examples happening in my life now. What I saw upon reflection was that I got crystal clear that I wanted less yelling in my house. It was not okay with me to be yelling at my kids as a regular form of behavior management. The other day I realized that I had developed a new habit of speaking to my kids instead of ranting and raving. For example,  last week my son very rudely interrupted a conversation I was having with another Mom at afternoon pickup by standing almost in between us and repeating,  “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go…” My first reactions were anger and embarrassment.  As we walked away I said ( not grumbled menacingly through gritted teeth per my standard technique), “That was very rude. You interrupted my conversation and it made me angry.”

Guess what his response was. “Oh, sorry Mom. I didn’t think about it like that. I won’t do that anymore.”  I know. Shocking! End of story. No 20 minute rant from me about how he really had to get his act together, blah, blah, blah. He got it and the conversation was done.

When I realized how often this kind of thing has been happening around here lately I was pretty floored. It is obvious that I created a new reality because I got super clear about what it would look like. Which brings me to something else I am getting really clear about. I need more students and more experience working with people on rewriting their Life Script. I don’t feel comfortable with the term Life Coach. For me it feels condescending and over reaching. I don’t know how to live your life so I can’t coach you up on doing it better. I believe I can help you pull out the stories you are telling yourself that are keeping you stuck and help you rewrite them. I am thinking more of Life Design Facilitator or Life Script Editor. My process is a lot like just talking with a friend. It is a bit therapy, a bit philosophical discussion, some exercises and a lot of encouragement to get in touch with what makes you feel good.

I am offering two months of free Life Script Editing through email and phone calls every other week. There will be no obligation on your part to continue past the two months. I do ask that you not agree to begin unless you feel comfortable committing for the full two months. If you choose to continue working with me past that time the terms will be completely negotiable. I look forward to the opportunity to get to know some of you in a whole new way, and thank you in advance for the opportunity to learn from you.

Please contact me at heather@lifeandfriendship.com to sign up or get more information.

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Life is not a spelling test

Life is not a spelling test.

It’s not about being right.

Forget about memorizing rules from the past

as the key to the future.

It’s more like baking a cake with no recipe.

You have some idea of what to do,

but the only way to make it great

is to learn by experience.

Just putting in the right ingredients

is no guarantee.

Try something unexpected.

Imagine it a better way.

After all, it’s your life.

Add whatever makes you happy!

I am reading an awesome book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called Wishes Fulfilled. In the book he says,

“By replacing your personal history as the arbiter of your life, you cease to resist your fuller potential.”


Stop Thinking and Try Doing

Avoiding danger is no safer

in the long run 

than outright exposure.

The fearful are caught 

as often as the bold.

-Helen Keller

First of all, you have to tell yourself if Helen Keller can believe this,  there is really no reason you can’t too. Second, who cares if you don’t make it to where you think you need to be. If you reach past your fears you are really living. You can figure out the details on the way!

Take a big deep breath, let it out. Repeat as needed. Go for it.


What if feeling bad isn’t the point?

I sat next to this lady I just think is such a hot ticket at my meditation class yesterday. She has such a great, fun vibe. She is one of those people you feel like you could tell your deepest secrets from the moment you meet her. She was telling me how she had planned to come to another class that had been offered the week before but had let herself be talked out of going. She was really kicking herself. She was disappointed that she hadn’t trusted herself and felt she had lost out on an opportunity to experience something new. Oh boy did I get excited. You are probably wondering what is so exciting about that, right?

“Welllll,” I said, “I have this new theory about just this kind of situation. I think your feeling badly and kicking yourself is not where you are meant to hang out. You are feeling like this because your body, spirit, the universe, whatever is trying to point something out to you. What decision or action did you take that lead you to feeling so bummed out?”

“I let myself be convinced not to come by my friend even though I knew I really wanted to” she said.

“Perfect. I think you’re just supposed to notice that you are feeling bad. Acknowledge the action or thought that lead you there, and learn from it.  It doesn’t work for you to not trust yourself. In fact it makes you feel pretty crummy. Maybe there is a piece of you that also needs to decide that you aren’t going to agree with what other people want to make them happy or avoid an argument. Once you get what the lesson is you can stop beating yourself up and start looking for the next cool class  you want to try.” I was trying hard to contain myself because this was such a slam dunk example of what I have been trying to verbalize. “That’s the idea I have been kicking around lately, at least.”

“Yeah, that sounds right. It makes a lot of sense to look at it like that.” she responded. Me personally, I think she perked right up.

I try to contain myself. I really do. Who wants to sit next to the one with all the answers right? It’s just that the more I think about energy, gratitude, forgiveness, abundance  the more it seems like I’ve been making things too complicated. Being human means most of us will repeat the same mistakes a few times before we really get the pattern.  Why shouldn’t it be as simple as noticing the signs and listening to your intuition? It’s a working theory. As always I love your feedback!

Also, I am super excited to announce that my class is starting 9/25.  The class name is Rewriting Your Life Script. It will meet for 5 Tuesdays from 7 to 8:30 pm.  Each class will be an informal lecture followed by group discussion and exercises. I can’t wait to get started.

You can register for the class here.


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