Monthly Archives: August 2012

Interpreting the Signs

Look at the problems in your life. Ask yourself, “What kind of thoughts am I having that create this?” -Louise Hay

I have been working on a new theory and wasn’t going to write about it until I really had it nailed. Then I realized that is my fall back avoidance technique so I am just throwing it out there now and hoping to get feedback from all of you!

I think I mentioned a while back about the idea that feeling bad or guilty is a replacement for action. I heard this idea in the Design Your Life class I took. The discussion was about being in or keeping your integrity. If you do what you say you will do, you have integrity. If you don’t do what you said you will do, you are out of integrity. Now comes a choice. You can either take action to remedy the situation. This can be tough because it probably involves telling the truth about why you didn’t do whatever “it” was. Option B is that you can feel bad about not doing “it” and make up for it through self-flagellation. For example, “I was 30 minutes late for the appointment because I couldn’t be bothered to get ready on time, but I feel really badly about it,” or “I know I said I would go to the party and I stayed home on the couch instead, but I feel reeeaaallly guilty.” This one is a classic, “I know I promised I would get more exercise and I haven’t done shit, but I feel really crappy about myself. Does that make up for it?”

You get the idea. This concept totally made sense to me and I could see how much less time I could spend feeling badly if I simply said what I meant and did what I said. Well, simply might be a stretch… it’s a learning curve really.

The more time I have spent slowing down, meditating, and listening to how I am feeling, the more I have started to think that feeling bad is really a guide in all areas of my life. Feeling guilty, sad, angry, disappointed or frustrated is really a spiritual nudge to get my butt back on track. When I realize I am driving around white knuckled or grinding my teeth down to nubs I start to run down the list of what could be causing it. Is there something I need to tell somebody? Did I not handle a situation in a positive way? Is there something I am avoiding?Whatever it is I can decide if I want to go back to fix it or just take a few minutes to learn from that FEELING. I have found a pattern for myself and I am guessing all of us have our own “feeling code” we can learn.  I know when I am feeling restless, irritable and just put out in general it is usually because I am not moving forward towards my goals. Allowing fear to hold me back does not seem to agree with me!

I am thinking too about feelings in your body. Could physical pain or illness be signs too that we are “out of alignment”? I shy away from committing to this idea because I feel an element of blame. I would never want someone dealing with illness or pain to feel somehow judged or at fault. On the other hand I think of what a wonderful thing it would be if we could all learn how to understand messages our body was sending us. “My back is acting up again. I really have to stop bad mouthing my neighbor.” I just ordered a book from Louise Hay. I am curious to see how she explains these concepts. What do you think? Have you had any experiences with this yourself?


Not Again

You know how sometimes you keep hearing about the same thing everywhere you go? I’m not talking about a new t.v. show, movie, or celebrity gossip. I’m talking about some seemingly random idea or thought that starts growing a life of its own. For me lately that thing is grief.

Grief- I thought I had put it in the rear view mirror. I was proud to be good and done with that! Imagine my surprise at being told after my first ever Reiki session (which I loved) that she felt “overwhelming” grief in my shoulders and neck where I have had varying levels of chronic pain for many years. Even though I offered to come back as many times as it would take to release all that grief she said, sadly, “No”. Apparently I am the one who has to work through it all myself. “Set aside time to grieve,” she suggested. This  really was a great suggestion but not realistic for me. There is a reason I have a neck full of overwhelming grief and it’s not because I can deal with daily doses of sadness.

I have been depressed before. Not just down in the dumps for a week or two, but that really black place that sucks out every ounce of will you have and laughs at your limp, pathetic self sobbing in the dark. I’ll walk up to the edge but when I feel those fingers creeping up out of the dark for me you better believe I turn and burn rubber the other way. As good as it would be for me, I just don’t see me going to that place regularly/ intentionally.

I was pleased as punch to hear of a potentially quicker and easier solution.   I just happened to hear a Dr. Bradley Nelson discussing his e-book, The Emotion Code. Dr Nelson believes that a majority of  both physical and emotional pain and disease is caused by trapped emotions. Listening to him talk this seemed to make a lot of sense. I started reading his book and quickly discovered his method for releasing the trapped emotions. Magnets. What?! I knew this had to be too good to be true. I kept reading and his book is very convincing. I have tried it on myself and the dog. I don’t think I’ve completely refined the technique. Plus Dr Nelson says the more you believe it will work the better it does. I might need a little work in that department too. I have to say I would way rather commit time every day to magnetize myself than grieve!

Thinking about all of this makes me laugh. I told my husband about the magnet book and he keeps saying things like, “Oh crap, grab a magnet!” It’s hard to take life too seriously when your husband is saying, “Stick a magnet on it!” He did say I could try to fix his ankle, but I couldn’t take it seriously. My kids make me laugh because they keep saying, “Bow, Chop, Release” and karate chopping each other. I’m sticking magnets all over them too. It can’t hurt, right?

My conclusion, there are two things in life you should be able to do once and be done for good. Get in shape and grieve. Unfortunately, grieving is cyclical. I have done my best to think my way through it rather than feeling. When I do allow myself to feel is when I am caught by surprise. My Dad was a commercial pilot. Seeing a pilot rushing through the airport recently as I walked with my daughter made me want to grab him and say, “Go get my Daddy. I want him to see my little girl.” The sadness over all he is not physically here to share crashed into me in a wave.

I guess I can try to do both. Set aside time to grieve while covering myself with magnets.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night, my neck throbbing. Okay, I said to myself, obviously I can’t think my way through this. I need to accept that I am not in control and allow the universe to steer me where I am meant to go. I need to trust myself to be strong enough to ask for help when I need it and to be brave enough to face the challenges life presents to me.  What this looks like in my life I will have to wait and see, but I slept like a baby after that.


The Truth Is… I Am So Excited

I just finished reading Kelle Hampton’s book, Bloom. In this book she shares the story of the birth and first year of life with her daughter who was born unexpectedly with Down syndrome. If you decide to read this book, which I strongly recommend, don’t even start it without some form of Kleenex nearby. Otherwise you will probably end up like me and find yourself  using your nightgown, t-shirt, or pillowcase to dry your eyes and wipe your nose which is pretty much disgusting. You just get desperate because you’re basically sobbing but can’t stop reading long enough to do any different.

I know that doesn’t sound like fun and probably won’t help her book sales, but there is something about this lady that makes you love and respect her so much. She shares honestly about her disappointments and fears. She is also determined throughout to embrace life completely and live it “like a rock star”. Her story is inspiring on so many levels, what I found most inspiring was her ability to be vulnerable and to allow the strength of others carry her when she couldn’t walk on her own. To me that is such unbelievable courage.

I was inspired by the way she shares everything from her joyous expectation to her overwhelming grief with the people she loves. I recognized in myself the pattern of playing down the important events in my own life. I tell myself I am being humble by not assuming other people want to get super involved in things that are important to me. The truth is that by downplaying important events or goals in my life I am trying to protect myself from disappointment. I recognized the truth when I read it in Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection,

“It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve learned that playing down the exciting stuff doesn’t take away the pain when it doesn’t happen. It does, however, minimize the joy when it does happen. It also creates a lot of isolation. Once you’ve diminished the importance of something your friends are not likely to call and say, ‘I’m sorry that didn’t work out. I know you were excited about it.’ ”

So, let me share with you that I am going to take a leap with my seminars and begin classes through the night school program. I alternate between totally terrified and just mild jitters thinking about how to format the classes and guide the conversation. I can also tell you that I am thrilled and oh so grateful for this awesome opportunity. I’ll keep you posted!


Giving in to vulnerability

I admit I haven’t made it too far into Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, but right in the preface I found a sentiment that rang so true for me. She speaks about being in the middle of a breakdown/ spiritual awakening and realizing one day that:

“I had learned how to worry more about how I felt and less about ‘what people might think.’ I was setting new boundaries and began to let go of my need to please, perform, and perfect. I started saying no rather than sure (and being resentful and pissed off later). I began saying ‘Oh, hell yes!’ rather than ‘Sounds fun, but I have lots of work to do’ or ‘I’ll do that when I’m ______________ (thinner, less busy, better prepared).’ ”

To me this is it. Own you’re life and do what feels right even if, or especially if, what feels right scares the crap out of you. If you have never seen them, I recommend you watch some of her videos online. The one below is awesome. This is the first time I am trying to add a video, fingers crossed!


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