Is your status quo worth maintaining?

“There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.”                                 -Denis Waitley


I realized yesterday that I had changed. It was not anything seemingly earth shattering, but it has made me think. Let me start by saying that for a long time my mantra as I stomped around the house was, “I have to do everything myself.” This was accompanied by lots of loud sighing, mumbled curses and tons of self-pity. Let me paint the picture a bit.

I am the handy one in my house so I am automatically the fix it person when anything breaks. Outside of Cheez-Its and frozen pizza, I am the only one who cooks anything. I do the vast majority of the cleaning, household errands, and child related appointments. I could go on, but it’s really not the point. The point is that I alone was the person who had designed this life.













One day not so very long ago, I decided I didn’t want to play the martyr anymore. It wasn’t a decision I gave a lot of thought to. It was really just something I promised myself I would change and let it go at that. Well… a few weeks ago my husband cleaned out the garage while I relaxed and read a book. Somehow even though I am spending a lot less time cleaning the house is not much worse for wear. The topper was yesterday, while I sat at the computer and did my thing, a professional installer came and put on our new, top of the line and not some low-end piece of crap because what am I a Kennedy, storm door. I feel like a million bucks!

Like I said, it doesn’t seem monumental, but my perspective changed so much. I let go of being miserable and insisting on doing everything myself. Why did I hang on to that for so long? Why would I even choose to do it in the first place? I realized that, at some point in my life, I had decided this was how I could prove I was worth keeping around. What? It was so time for a rewrite.

What kind of crazy ideas have you cooked up? We all have them. I guess they are coping strategies  we put together to get us through our lives. Just like you wouldn’t  have thrown money into a typewriter business when the world had started buying computers, you are allowed to bail on a pattern of behaviors that do not make sense. It’s your life why not make it the way you want it!


About lifeandfriendship

Intentionally crafting an intuitive life and friendships while managing carpool, kids, work, dinner, dog... View all posts by lifeandfriendship

7 responses to “Is your status quo worth maintaining?

  • Katrina

    This totally and completely sounds like me, the problem I have is, my spousal equivalent has come to expect me to be a replacement mother, oh I’ve asked sweetly and told sternly that I’m not the maid or the cook, etc. and he promises to do more, but the ‘more’ never happens. 3 weeks ago he promised he would start cooking dinner at least 2 days a week, during that 3 weeks, he took me out to dinner once, yes I said once, other than that…, and I’m not a martyr, I’m tired, maybe I should adopt your strategy and just not do so much, and when I run out of clean clothes or am starving, I’ll take myself out to dinner. Great post!

  • Marie Alesbury

    Fantastic! i can so relate to this post! As a mother and a wife…only i can change what i don’t like feeling like….sometimes it takes us a while before we realise this especially when it comes to our kiddies behaviour..Evie’s behaviour is directly related to how i react and handle it i very often find! Thanks for this post it was awesome…

  • Blue Heron Wisdom

    I think we get into a pattern of doing things sometimes without even really being conscious of it, then over time it just becomes the way we do it. We develop a belief that it is THE way to do it (not just A way to do it). Great job at noticing there are other ways and other choices! And apparently ones that make you happier!

  • Starlite

    Reblogged this on starmillennial and commented:
    Such a great and powerful post about how we sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves…her story seems very liberating! *A sigh of relief for her at realizing you don’t have to do things alone in life! That’s such a great lesson that I think sometimes we all forget! 🙂

  • halasaleh1

    Love this – as a woman, I can relate to always wanting to do EVERYTHING around the house, have a perfect house, perfect meals, perfect everything. But by doing so I was making my own reality and not leaving any time for the things I really cared about.

    We DO have the power to change our lives. Sieze it! Thank you!

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