Is your status quo worth maintaining?

“There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.”                                 -Denis Waitley

 

I realized yesterday that I had changed. It was not anything seemingly earth shattering, but it has made me think. Let me start by saying that for a long time my mantra as I stomped around the house was, “I have to do everything myself.” This was accompanied by lots of loud sighing, mumbled curses and tons of self-pity. Let me paint the picture a bit.

I am the handy one in my house so I am automatically the fix it person when anything breaks. Outside of Cheez-Its and frozen pizza, I am the only one who cooks anything. I do the vast majority of the cleaning, household errands, and child related appointments. I could go on, but it’s really not the point. The point is that I alone was the person who had designed this life.

Before

After

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day not so very long ago, I decided I didn’t want to play the martyr anymore. It wasn’t a decision I gave a lot of thought to. It was really just something I promised myself I would change and let it go at that. Well… a few weeks ago my husband cleaned out the garage while I relaxed and read a book. Somehow even though I am spending a lot less time cleaning the house is not much worse for wear. The topper was yesterday, while I sat at the computer and did my thing, a professional installer came and put on our new, top of the line and not some low-end piece of crap because what am I a Kennedy, storm door. I feel like a million bucks!

Like I said, it doesn’t seem monumental, but my perspective changed so much. I let go of being miserable and insisting on doing everything myself. Why did I hang on to that for so long? Why would I even choose to do it in the first place? I realized that, at some point in my life, I had decided this was how I could prove I was worth keeping around. What? It was so time for a rewrite.

What kind of crazy ideas have you cooked up? We all have them. I guess they are coping strategies  we put together to get us through our lives. Just like you wouldn’t  have thrown money into a typewriter business when the world had started buying computers, you are allowed to bail on a pattern of behaviors that do not make sense. It’s your life why not make it the way you want it!

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About lifeandfriendship

I am woman hear me ROAR! I am actively engaged in shaping my life to my dreams. Watch out 'cause I'll try my best to drag you along for the ride. View all posts by lifeandfriendship

7 responses to “Is your status quo worth maintaining?

  • Katrina

    This totally and completely sounds like me, the problem I have is, my spousal equivalent has come to expect me to be a replacement mother, oh I’ve asked sweetly and told sternly that I’m not the maid or the cook, etc. and he promises to do more, but the ‘more’ never happens. 3 weeks ago he promised he would start cooking dinner at least 2 days a week, during that 3 weeks, he took me out to dinner once, yes I said once, other than that…, and I’m not a martyr, I’m tired, maybe I should adopt your strategy and just not do so much, and when I run out of clean clothes or am starving, I’ll take myself out to dinner. Great post!

  • Marie Alesbury

    Fantastic! i can so relate to this post! As a mother and a wife…only i can change what i don’t like feeling like….sometimes it takes us a while before we realise this especially when it comes to our kiddies behaviour..Evie’s behaviour is directly related to how i react and handle it i very often find! Thanks for this post it was awesome… http://www.awakentoyourheart.wordpress.com

  • Blue Heron Wisdom

    I think we get into a pattern of doing things sometimes without even really being conscious of it, then over time it just becomes the way we do it. We develop a belief that it is THE way to do it (not just A way to do it). Great job at noticing there are other ways and other choices! And apparently ones that make you happier!

  • Starlite

    Reblogged this on starmillennial and commented:
    Such a great and powerful post about how we sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves…her story seems very liberating! *A sigh of relief for her at realizing you don’t have to do things alone in life! That’s such a great lesson that I think sometimes we all forget! 🙂

  • halasaleh1

    Love this – as a woman, I can relate to always wanting to do EVERYTHING around the house, have a perfect house, perfect meals, perfect everything. But by doing so I was making my own reality and not leaving any time for the things I really cared about.

    We DO have the power to change our lives. Sieze it! Thank you!

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